February just FLU right by.
Did you catch that? Yes, I meant to spell it like that. The flu has invaded our house this month and I’m over it. The last one to go down was Matt. The man, the myth and the legend got the flu. We were all shocked. Even Alli said daddy told her that men don’t get sick. I told her he was wrong. Then Ben informed us that you’re not a man until you’re 40. Who knew? Well, Ben should know. He likes to sleep with his shirt open now. He’s well on his way to 40.
When the man of the house gets sick, it can be a scary thing. That’s all I will say about that. Thankfully, it was only 24 hours. And I think we all survived. I would like to mention that I had made a nice home cooked meal with mashed potatoes and all. I hope that still counts as me cooking even though Matt came home and went right upstairs. And then there’s Caleb. Apparently eating is such an awful thing for him that he climbs all the way behind the couch to hide. See him back there? Since he’s kid #3 and I know that he’s not going to die from not eating, I ‘m also over it.
Since Matt was quarantined on Monday night, I slept on the couch. Apparently, I’m old enough now that if I drink a Coke Zero after 6pm I’ll be up half the night. And I’m also old enough to not enjoy sleeping on the couch. I was so looking forward to sleeping in my bed last night, and good sleep was happening until all the crazy interruptions started. One child had a bad dream about Carbon Dioxide. Who dreams about Carbon Dioxide? One child peed through their pajamas, and the final child had a poop incident. Yes, a poop incident. Poop happened. Clothes were changed.
I love how when kids have accidents, it’s like a big mystery. How did the bed get wet? How did your pants get wet? And they act like they have no clue what happened. Well, I thought things were figured out last night, in the dark, until I felt something wet on the floor and realized that it was poop. Yes, small balls of poop. So I start to investigate. Where did this come from? Is it human poop? Did I poop? Of course, the child had no idea where it came from. To put an end to this terrible story, I picked up the poop and walked back to my room to dispose of it, because that’s what moms do. We pick up the poop and move on. It wasn’t until I went to get back in bed that I realized I had a turd stuck to the side of my foot the entire time.
I think that’s enough personal information that you probably don’t really want to know. I’m going to go try to ly-solve all my problems. March, please have mercy on us!